Pawtuckaway Lake Association

As an avid kayaker, as dweller next to Dolloff Dam and as an observer of the magnificent lake Pawtuckaway, I have discovered that the great majority of balls floating upon our vast expanse of water to be  tennis balls.  Yes, these cute bobbing yellow balls displaying such names as Wilson have indeed been extremely popular on the water this year.  Currently I have three tennis balls harvested from the lake.  I gained one while kayaking; one was  trapped in a cove and the third came over the dam.

So I got to thinking how these balls came to drift  about and came up with these possible reasons.  One explanation could be like the mythical city of Atlantis there is a secret tennis court which surfaces every so often.  There our shore denizens play a game of tennis and occasionally hit the ball over the surrounding fence into the water.   Or alternately when the magical court submerges  balls left on it,  float away.  And before you  dismiss totally that concept, remember the lake does at least once a year double as a golf course. ( That at least gives us doubles which is very much part of the tennis scene.)

Another cause could be dogs that get tried and bored of chasing the yellow ball into the lake for them to fetch. Instead, they simply sit on the shore, wag their tail and read the sports page of the Union Leader of the Globe.  And, of course the bal, l freed from its saliva filled mouth ordeal,  floats gingerly into the sunset.

Yet another explanation could be a affluent dude has a tennis court right on the lake.  In the heat of the battle they hit the ball into the lake. 

Perhaps there are still other sources for the many tennis balls flocking to the lake.  Maybe there are tennis ball generating fish lurking at the bottom of the lake. They could represent an amazing mutant in our gill breathing and fin negotiating specie swimming beneath the surface. And the only evidence of their phenomenal evolutionary development is their ability to produce tennis balls and send these to the top.  What we do know is that no fisherman with or without a license has ever caught one of these tennis ball generating creatures.

Another factor requires leap of faith or stretch of the imagination.  In tennis one of the key words is ‘love’..  It stands for zero but it sounds much more prestigious and pompous to say 15 love than fifteen zero.  And we know the lake dwellers lionize and ‘love’ our lake Pawtuckaway.  So the balls come to symbolize and crystallize the notion of love and they our love children.

Yet, another  cause could be that the balls are manifestations of a clandestine tennis ball factory located near to our beloved body of water.  We do know from Officer Phil that Nottingham has been the recipient of an all terrain vehicle from HomeLand Security.  Clearly, our federal government saw the need to protect and defend our hamlet. They MUST know things about our town that we do not.  Perhaps, a secret tennis ball factory is not only a reality but also means our very knowledge of it might endanger the United States of America.  Remember Nottingham’s new possible mantra, loose balls sink secret tennis ball manufacturing.

Or perhaps, you know the real explanation for all the tennis balls in the lake and could offer it here:________________________.

by Steve Soreff