Editorials
The Editorial section of the PLIA web site that provides commentary, opinions, insights, stories and events from a group of guest columnists who have a connection to the lake. Choose a columnist from the menu on the left. [The views and opinions of columnists are not necessarily shared or endorsed by the PLIA or its members.]
| April 2006 - Digby McFibben |
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| Written by Digby McFibben | |
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Back in my day, when the water was clear and the loons swam in the lake instead of driving jetskis, we didn't worry about phosphorus levels in the lake. We worried about phosphorus in gun powder and explosives but, then again who doesn't. Anyway, like I was saying, the phosphorus levels in the lake are high and getting higher. Where the be'jesus is all this phosphorus coming from? Can't be from all the 4th of July fireworks? Can it? Nahh, probably not. So, who the blazes is putting phosphorus into our lake, I'll give'em a whuppin like they've never had! Crikey, turns out it's coming from the darndest places. Who'd a thunk it...Most of it's coming from us. I was talking to some high falutin', college-edumacated kind of types and they were saying there is some all natural, organic, granola-eating types of phosphorus that just happen on their own. That stuff just takes care of itself, the way it ought to. Then, wholey slomoley a whole bunch of foreigners move on in and build camps and houses on the lake and they bring all this unsuspectin', phosphorus ridden stuff with them. Well I'm generally pro old stuff but, when it comes to old septic systems, every flush is like a deposit in the phosphorus bank. The numero uno culprit in the high phosphorus war is something we all have a handle on, so to speak. If we dug up every old, leaky septic system and put one of them fancy, new fangled type systems in we'd slow, that's right just slow down the flow of phosphorus into the lake. Food and dishwashing detergent going down the drain ends up in the lake. I'm not saying that there's hot dogs and stuff floating around (Well, maybe over at the park sometimes, but that's another story), I'm saying it seeps out of the leech field and feeds the nasty stuff in the water. Next culprit is grass. Yah, that's right, a nice lawn can kill the lake faster than a snapping turtle chews toe. Turns out lawn fertilizer is phosphorus and rain has this funny habit of washing the stuff right off the top of your lawn and right into the lake. Can't imagine how that would happen. Alright, so what the heck is the solution. Got it, everybody move somewhere else. No? Everybody use the bathroom at work. No? Shucks, I guess we're going to have to fix our septic systems, stop fertizing our lawns, turn off our in-sinker-ator-mabobs, use phosphorus free dish detergent, stop erosion on our property, and stop raking leaves into the lake until the problem goes away. I've got a headache, I'm taking a nap. Digby McFibben |
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